it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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