So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
How's work?
Spinning.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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