just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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