Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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