bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
