It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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