I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
