hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just threw up on my dentist
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
