I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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