I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
