wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
