i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
