clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
