That's intense
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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