Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
