I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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