i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
