Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
