Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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