Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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