whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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