Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize