3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
