My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
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There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
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I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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