Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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