there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you will always have a special place in my vag
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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