Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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