Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
