Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
