they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
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the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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