you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
