Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
