too bad you live with your parents still
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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