He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
how drunk are you?
Several
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
