Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
