help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
