My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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