i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize