I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants are for mortals
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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