I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
