I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
