I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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