Where did you get a picture of my penis
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
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I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
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I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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