just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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