You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
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she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
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Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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