At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
