shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
