He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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