I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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