Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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