i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
