is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
