This girl is more easily done than said...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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