So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
