look no pants
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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