I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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