oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
