not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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