And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
