Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I can text with my tongue
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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