I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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