we have pet lesbian snakes
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
