My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
