college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
