It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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