I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
