I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
