Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There's always time for handjobs
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap