Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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