how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
