Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
