I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize