Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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