I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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