But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
