the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
