mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Is it penis luge time yet?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
did i just pee glitter
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I smell like Dick and happiness
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
