He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
