Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
